Cracker Jacks

OK, so here's the deal...while waiting to check out at one of those big-box stores (I am embarrassed to say I go there only when necessary, and will tell you about that later), and there, on and end-cap by the cash register, staring me in the face is a display of Cracker Jacks. You know, the old-fashioned snack in the box with Captain Jack and his dog Bingo? Same size box, same design (except on the back of the box includes the nutritional imformation required by law). So, I purchased a three-pack for about a buck and change. I was mildly excited to find out what kind of "surprise toy" was inside, just like when I was a kid! I opened the box, ate a few bites of the wonderfully sweet snack and as I neared the middle of the treat, looked for the prize. There is was! Just like when I was a kid!
Here's where the faint of heart may want to turn away. Go back, step away from the Cracker Jacks! Do it NOW!!!
I really wanted one of those fun little plastic thingies with the tiny metal balls that fit into the indentations as you turned it and balanced it while trying to win the little game. Or, maybe it was going to be a fake tattoo! Or a tiny little picture book. Any number of fun little trinkets that takes a person back to their youth. A simpler and innocent time.
NO!!!!!! It was something flat and inside a miniature envelope. Ok...maybe the tattoo. As I opened the envelope I saw it was a picture of some sort. What the hell...it was a color picture of Susan B. Anthony-a young version. A tiny 1.5" picture of SBA. Ok...now what, you ask? It gets worse. On the reverse side of the picture was an older version of SBA, but you had to fold the paper to make it all come together. Now, I ask...WTF? Is this some kind of perverted joke? Didn't SBA get enough press having a coin dedicated in her honor? Who's idea was it to remove the really fun things from Cracker Jacks and replace them with a dorkorama surprise like this one? It sucks.
I'll keep you posted when I get over this one, and on to the next prize in box number two.