The Umpire

At one point during a baseball game, the coach called one of his
9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what
cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose
together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called,
you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a
pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets
a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a
dumb asshole, is it?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good,' said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to
your grandmother."